Whether you are married or in a lifelong partnership with a loved one. All relationships inevitably will encounter problems if problems have arisen which cause distress; unresolvable arguments, defensive practices, withdrawal, and attacking.

Counselling provides a contained reflective space which aims not to change your partner but encourages you both to explore what the obstacles are and healthier ways of dealing with them.

Signs you need couples counselling

• You’re arguing about money.
• One of you has had an affair or has felt tempted.
• You’re not honest with each other.
• You keep wishing your partner would change.
• Your sex life has changed, or you or your partner has lost their sex drive.
• You’ve stopped communicating.
• You pick arguments and find yourself trying to get a rise out of your partner and find yourself coming back to the same argument every time.
• You value opposing things.
• You don’t put each other first anymore.
• You can’t find a middle ground.
• You’ve stopped making an effort to do romantic things together.
• Your first port of call is a friend rather than your partner when something exciting or important happens.
• You don’t share the same vision of your future.
• Your communication has broken down – maybe you over-assert yourself and never compromise, or your partner has a habit of shutting down and avoiding conflict whenever something difficult crops up.
• You find yourself comparing your partner to other people.
• You find yourself clocking up points, g. I did this for them, so they should be behaving like this to me.
• You revert to passive-aggression instead of voicing your irritations.

Benefits of counselling

Do not leave it too late to go to counselling; however, there is no time like the present to seek for help.

The benefits you will receive if you and your partner engage with counselling:

• Support you in understanding individual blocks that might be impacting your relationship.
• Help you explore the kind of relationship you want and how you can work toward building that together.
• An opportunity for you to voice difficult topics without the fear of criticism or argument.
• Help remind you of your strengths as a couple instead of focusing on the negatives all the time.
• Build healthier lines of communication, learn how to communicate better and improve the way you handle your differences as a couple.
• Explore issues that are specific to one partner but impacting the relationship, g. depression, anxiety.
• Find the root of long-standing issues in the relationship and come to a resolution.
• Support you in moving through big relationship changes, g. starting a family or moving home.
• Move forward after past hurts and disappointments.
• Heal from infidelity.
• Get clarity on whether your relationship can be salvaged or whether it’s time to move on.
• Voice your needs in a safe environment where you can be heard without criticism or fear of difficult subjects escalating into arguments.
• Pinpoint where your problems stem from and find ways to overcome them.

The cost of couples counselling

The cost can vary between £50 to £120 per session. A session can last up to one hour and forty minutes. No cost is too small to save what is the most important relationship in your life.